Using writing, and meditation, and ice cream, and reading, and dreams,

and a whole lot of other tools to rediscover who I am,

after six years living with a man with OCPD.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Welcome to Bizarro World

A place where he sulks, and you get accused of sulking.  A place where he won't do something - even if it's something he previously expressed an intention of doing - simply because you asked him to.  (It's called Demand Resistance.)

He may snore like a bear, but he'll wake you up - not because you're snoring, but because you were about to snore.

He may wrinkle his nose at what you're wearing, tell you he doesn't like your new haircut, complain the show you wanted to watch is stupid and change the channel to something more edifying, like "America's Dumbest Criminals," but if you timidly ask him (while gasping for air) if he could, perhaps, slow down on the chain smoking, he will flip out.  "You're always so critical of me!"

He may frequently remark that the key to a relationship is good communication, and ramble on in long, pointless monologues without allowing you to get a word in edgewise.

He believes you are in mortal danger from bacteria on dishes, or counters with a water spot on them, yet insists on leaving containers full of leftovers on the counter to "cool" before putting them in the refrigerator.

The only right towels to use in the bathroom are threadbare and no longer absorbent.  New towels are much too soft and fluffy.

After a while, you may feel you're living in "1984", where War is Peace and Hate is Love, and you get used to the doublethink.  Sometimes you think it's you that's a bit crazy.  If you could just relax, maybe it would all make sense.

And then, you come out of the fog, and back in touch with reality.  Wow.

What kind of cognitive distortions did you experience in the OCPD (not)funhouse mirror?  Comment on them, below.