Being Positive About the Negative

So, since I love to give advice, I was giving somebody advice about gratitude today, and I started thinking about things to be grateful for.  And I do have countless things I am truly blessed to have in my life.

However, I'm in something of a quirky mood, today and feel like being positive about the negative.  So here goes:

• I'm grateful that I had only enough cash at the g. store tonight to buy the milk and fish I came in for, and not enough to splurge on a bag of leftover Halloween candy.
• I'm grateful that it's been a fairly long time since the cat puked on the rug.
• I'm grateful that I remembered I could cook my yellow rice in the microwave tonight instead of burning it on the stove like I usually do.
• I'm grateful that the guy in the black Prius loudly blasting his nasally wailing middle-Eastern music at the stopsign tonight is not my next-door neighbor.
• I'm grateful I had enough tequila left for two margaritas with my dinner.
• I'm grateful that the itsy-bitsy spider in the bathroom who interrupted my bath last night appeared tuned in to the psychic message I was sending him, "Begone, begone, and I will not have to squish you like a, well, bug."
• Likewise the itsier bitsier spider that was scrambling all over my computer monitor last night.
• I'm grateful I'm dealing with spiders, even though they creep me out, and not cockroaches.
• I'm grateful I took a closer look at my mail and did not shred my jury summons as the junk mail solicitation it appeared at first.
• I'm grateful that not all candidates for Congress in this election cycle are dumber'n a bag of hair.
• I'm grateful that the weather is going to be warm enough all week that I will not have to wear pantyhose.
• I'm grateful that they have not yet put standing saddle "seats" in commercial airplanes.
• I'm grateful that not all of my neighbors stomp up the steps like they are carrying pianos on their backs.
• I'm sorry I don't live closer to certain members of my family - and very grateful I don't live closer to others.
• I'm grateful I have more books than I can possibly read in the next year already loaded on my Kindle.

I'm grateful for scented candles and FaceBook and warm fuzzy blankets.  I'm grateful I found out about OCPD before I totally went insane (well, at least crazier than I already was.)  I'm grateful for vibrators and women's right to vote and the fact that in a few hours the din of political ads will be over (at least for a few more months.)  I'm grateful for my dim understanding of the Goddess and the infectious way babies giggle and for buses that don't belch black smoke into the air anymore.  I'm grateful for limits on my credit cards that prevent me from being 8 billion dollars in debt.

I'm grateful to be alive, to be employed, to be loved by so many wonderful family members and friends and a very neurotic cat.

How about you?  What are you grateful for?