Using writing, and meditation, and ice cream, and reading, and dreams,

and a whole lot of other tools to rediscover who I am,

after six years living with a man with OCPD.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Back in the Saddle?

April 15-3
April 15-3 (Photo credit: cj&erson)
Not quite, but soon. This spring has been one that has been overwhelming, as I coped with:

  • Extremely demanding day job (hint: no let-up until April 15).
  • Oldest sister undergoing chemo treatment for a rare form of cancer.
  • Her husband simultaneously declining in health due to a stroke combined with a failing liver. He required 24/7 nursing care, and was released from the hospital in February. While I was mostly only able to help on the weekends, I also became airport shuttle for family members flying in to help care for him.

    He passed on April 19.

Since this ordeal began, I've not had the time, energy, nor motivation to write, neither here nor elsewhere, but I am beginning to feel "stirrings" again.

In the meantime, we have held the first of two memorials/"celebrations of life" for my brother-in-lawlove. He was a beautiful, if damaged soul, who entered my life when I was four, so, yes, I am deeply grieving, even if also relieved he is no longer in pain nor struggling for breath. And our family awaits word on the latest tests that may indicate whether my sister's cancer is in remission... Or not.

In the meantime, I'm reading "Your Mind is What Your Brain Does For a Living" which offers a mix of memoir, CBT, mindfulness exercises, and transactional analysis.  So far, it is neither blowing me out of the water with new insight, nor gluing me to the page with the brilliance of the writing; HOWEVER, for those battling ocpd, it may offer important tips for you.

Sometimes it just takes looking at something from a different angle for the light bulbs to go off. There's a heavy focus on computer programming analogies and understanding how the brain is wired, and can be REwired, that could potentially be helpful.

Wishing health and healing to all my readers, and their loved ones. I'll be back when I can.
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